Cake Catastrophe
by Earth Star
Summary: It's a baking battle when Lina and Amelia challenge each other to bake a cake. Things are not going to go well... LG and ZA hintings


Disclaimer: I do not own "Slayers" or any of it's characters and I don't wish to make any profit from this story either.

I got inspire after reading Kaeru Soyokaze's Naruto fanfic "How to Bake a Cake."

This was fun to write.

"Cake Catastrophe"

Lina was forced to do a double take as she walked by Amelia's room. The princess was reading, not a spellbook, not a "golem making" book, not even a "justice speeches made for dummies" book, but a cookbook.

Lina's sixth sense for trouble told her to keep on walking and not dare look back. Her sixth sense was tossed into a wrestling match against her curiosity. However, her curiosity happened to be closely related to her appetite and love of eating. Needless to say, her six sense was beaten to a pulp. It never had a chance.

"Amelia, why are you reading a cookbook?"

Startled, Amelia glanced up. She'd been concentrating so hard, she never heard her friend enter. Calmly she said "I want to bake a cake."

Lina could barely register the comment. It wouldn't have been so weird to hear it coming from Sylphiel. Hearing it from Amelia, though, was odd. She never recalled the girl taking an interest in baking before.

All Lina could think of to ask was "Why?"

Amelia blushed and stroked the spine of the cookbook. "It's for Mr. Zelgadis. I overheard him talking to Mr. Gourry about how it's his birthday. So, I'd thought I bake him a birthday cake."

Lina sighed. "Wouldn't it be easier to buy him one?"

"But that's so impersonal!" Amelia dropped the book and threw a fist in the air. "For a warrior of justice I must bake a cake myself so I can put in my own feelings and have it come straight from my heart!"

Lina sweat-dropped. Only Amelia would turn a dessert into a form of justice.

Amelia picked up the fallen cookbook. "But baking a cake looks a bit more complicated than I thought."

The sorceress rolled her eyes. "Oh please! It can't be that hard! I bet even a monkey could do it!"

The veins in Amelia's forehead throbbed a little. Her fingers twitched in annoyance.

"Are you implying that you've baked a cake before?"

Lina flustered. "Well...no...But being a sorcery genius, I bet it would be delicious!"

"Words mean nothing unless you can actually prove it!"

Lina glared, ready for bakery battle. "Well I know I can bake a cake better than you!"

"Can not!"

"Can too!"

Amelia pointed her finger of justice at Lina. "Ms. Lina, I here by challenge you to bake a cake for Mr. Gourry!"

"I accept!" Lina growled, refusing to decline. "And you're going to eat your words!"

* * *

After paying the innkeeper to let them use his kitchen, Amelia and Lina shot fire filled glares at one another.

"You're going to regret challenging me!" Lina mocked.

"We'll see!"

"What kind are you baking?"

"Chocolate chip! You?"

"Double chocolate! A classic and Gourry will eat every bite!" Lina cracked the eggs into the bowl and grabbed the bag of flour.

Amelia felt some of her anger melt away as she watched her friend in concern.

"Ms. Lina aren't you going to use measuring cups?"

"Why bother? I have highly evolved observation skills!"

Lina loosely held the bag of flour as she declared this.

Amelia's worrying tripled. "Ms. Lina be careful with that..."

The bag flew from Lina's grip. It summer saulted in the air and would have gotten a perfect ten for it. It headed straight for the princess.

Lina knew how Amelia would react. Before she could stop her, Amelia punched the bag to protect her face.

The flour spilled.

Every inch was now covered in a white coating, including a stunned sorceress and princess.

Lina coughed. "Mental note: Be careful with flour."

* * *

"Where is everyone?" Zelgadis pondered aloud as he walked down the stairs.

It was way past noon and he hadn't seen or heard Lina, Amelia or Gourry at all.

He had checked the dining hall, but was shocked to see no sign of the eating machines or Amelia.

He turned and then found a clue. Granted it was a large clue. Gourry was putting his ear up against the door of the inn's kitchen.

Dreading what kind of hijinks he would no doubt be dragged into, Zelgadis asked "What are you..."

Alarmed, Gourry pulled the chimera down to the floor and covered Zel's mouth.

"Quiet or they'll hear you!" he whispered.

Zelgadis shoved the hand away, but spoke in a lower tone. "Who will?"

"Lina and Amelia! They've been in there since this morning!"

"What are they doing?"

"I don't know." Gourry's voice was quivering in fear. "But Lina keeps mentioning my name!"

The chimera wasn't convinced of the danger. "I think you're exaggerating..."

CRASH!

"Ms. Lina are you alright!"

"Dammit! I don't care if I have to shove this down Gourry's throat! That jelly-fish brain is going to eat this!"

Gourry trembled. "I'm scared."

Zelgadis gave his shoulder a pat and climbed to his feet. "It sounds like Lina is making some kind of potion or something and she wants you to be her guinea pig."

Gourry paled.

"Don't worry too much about it." Zelgadis continued and started to leave his troubled friend.

Without turning around, Gourry said in a monotone voice "You know, Amelia said your name a couple of times too."

Zel froze. There was a brief pause.

"Gourry move over." The chimera ordered.

The swordsman made room for his new spying partner.

* * *

Lina smugly smiled. Her cake was in the oven and almost done.

She could smell her victory.

"ARRG!"

Lina rushed over to Amelia. The princess had just brought her cake out of her oven. She became numb as she stared at it.

Bad enough it was flat as a pancake, but it was pitch black too, as if a fireball had attacked it.

"Geez Amelia! Since when is charcoal an ingredient?"

"That's not funny!" Amelia cried. "I'm sure the icing will cover the burnt taste...I think..."

Lina shook her head. "Amelia how hot did you set the oven?"

"500 degrees."

"What! Are you crazy!"

Amelia pouted. "My cake wasn't rising and it was in there a long time, so I thought I should turn up the heat."

Lina looked at the cake, then back to the princess. "Did you remember to use baking soda?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Forget it."

Lina went back to her oven. The cake should be done.

She opened the oven, positive it wouldn't be brunt to a crisp like Amelia's, but that it would be a masterpiece of baking.

It wasn't burnt like Amelia's.

It could have been a masterpiece, as long as abstract art was a category. The cake was unevenly lopsided in the pan. One end was taller then the other.

Lina was speechless. "What the hell happened to my cake!"

Amelia peeked into the oven. "Ms. Lina, the rack in here isn't leveled."

Lina sweat-dropped.

Next came the icing. At least Lina could salvage her cake with pretty icing and it probably tasted better than it looked.

There were 3 big errors in her icing operation though.

One was that she didn't put in enough icing sugar, so the icing was runny and drizzled down the sides of the cake. The second error was not stirring the icing enough, which made the icing lumpy. The biggest and last error was choosing the colour green for the icing.

In the end, green runny, lumpy icing drizzled down around the cake. It looked like someone had thrown up on her cake...who had just eaten spinach and peas!

Amelia's icing was slightly better. It wasn't as runny, but it was rather lumpy.

Amelia decided to add pink roses to go with the blue icing she made. However, she had no experience in creating icing roses, so her roses looked more like pink warts.

The friends stared at their bizarre creations and exchanged dismayed looks.

"Let's...go get the...boys." Lina stated.

Amelia slowly nodded and went to the door.

BONK!

She heard groans of pain as she opened it and found Zelgadis and Gourry rubbing their sore heads as if something hard had slammed into them.

Lina peeked over Amelia's shoulder. "Oh! There you are! Perfect! We need you to taste our cakes!"

The stupefied boys silently stared at the girls. Then stared at each other. Then back again to the girls. "You were baking cakes?"

"What did you think we were doing?" Amelia inquired.

"Don't ask!" Gourry replied. Cakes! That was all! So his life wasn't in danger!

That was his thought until the cakes were brought out and shown to them.

The boys sweat-dropped.

"How are we supposed to eat these?" Zelgadis asked.

"You eat a slice of Amelia's and Gourry eats a slice of mine." Lina explained.

"That's not what I meant!"

But the heartening look the princess gave shut him up. With a sigh, he took a knife and cut. And cut. AND CUT!

It was like cutting wood! Zelgadis was forced to use all of his strength. Finally a snap was heard and the knife went through.

He slowly took a bit...and crunched.

Amelia slapped her forehead. She was no baking expert, but even she knew that most cakes weren't supposed to crunch!

It was a whole 10 minutes before Zelgadis swallowed.

"How was it?" Amelia asked, even though she already knew the answer.

Zelgadis paused, warily choosing the words that wouldn't send Amelia crying from the room. "...Crunchy..."

Amelia could tell that it wasn't the "good" kind of crunchy.

"Ha!" Lina cheered. "I bet my cake's better!"

"Hey Lina, this cake's all doughy inside!" Gourry displayed the piece he cut.

The cake itself was still mostly uncooked on the inside.

"ARRGH!" Lina yelled, yanking out her hair. "HOW!"

"I guess you didn't leave it in the oven long enough." Gourry stated.

"Didn't you check to see if it was cooked enough?" Zelgadis asked.

"How am I supposed to do that!"

"Stick a toothpick in it!"

"...Oh..."

Amelia groaned, disappointed at the results. "I guess we're both bad at baking aren't we Ms. Lina."

"It appears so."

Zelgadis and Gourry exchanged tired sighs, took their slices and continued to eat.

"What are you guys doing?" Lina asked.

"Doesn't it taste bad?" Amelia added.

"Yes, but you went to all that trouble baking these, so we might as well finish these slices." Gourry replied between chews.

"No point in letting the whole thing go to waste." Zelgadis added.

Lina and Amelia both grinned a little as the boys ate.

* * *

LATER...

"I brought you some stomach medicine Gourry."

The swordsman moaned in his bed. "I'm...gonna...die..."

Lina stomped her foot. "Dammit Gourry! If the cake was that bad you didn't have to keep eating it!"

"But I had to..." Gourry moaned. "You made it..."

Lina blushed. "Jellyfish-brain..." she grumbled. "I'll make it up to you Gourry. When you're feeling up to it, I'll treat you to dinner."

"Sure...just as long as there's no cake."

AND IN ZEL'S ROOM...

"I"m so sorry Mr. Zelgadis!"

Zelgadis moaned in his own bed. "It's alright Amelia. I've been through worse."

_But I've never been so sick from a cake before._

Amelia sighed. "I've made your birthday so horrible."

Zelgadis turned. "My birthday?"

"I heard you and Mr. Gourry talking about how it was your birthday and I wanted to bake you a birthday cake to surprise you."

Zelgadis sat up and stared at her solemnly. "Amelia, my birthday isn't until next month."

"...Really?..."

He nodded.

"I guess I screwed up big time, huh?"

Zelgadis managed to smile a little. "It was a bit of a disaster, but I appreciate the thought. I just want you to promise me one thing."

Amelia's face brightened up. "Anything!"

"On my real birthday, don't bake me a cake."


End file.
